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Friday, August 22, 2008

Since the 18th

I have had a hard time finding time to post consistently. My intention is to write something at home in the evening and post it when I check my email every morning. Not having internet at the apt is hard. But now I can't use that as the excuse for not getting anything done either. I seem to be spending this week just sort of coasting along. But tonight is my night to spend a lot of time revamping my life, my time and my priorities.

I have decided that there is a reason we have bad times. Ok, I realize anybody reading this has probably already figured this out. But since I'm writing this for me and not that elusive 'anybody' it's ok. I have been not feeling good physically or mentally for a couple weeks now. Well, the last couple of days I'm feeling better. Not 100%, and I'm not sure when I will feel that way again. But let's just say that sometimes you have to feel rotten in order to feel better at all. What are the words to that country song about hitting rock bottom and having nowhere to go but up? I had a good friend read my blog the other day and I do admit there were some depressed entries. Between writing about my son and my husband, it was a little sad and blue. He said I thought you were doing better at stuff like that. Maybe I hadn't done a good job at writing those, because somehow one thing I was trying to say was that every though I was down and being melancholy, I was still better than I have been in the past. I posted about my tendency to be a perfectionist. So just the fact that I can accept the small steps I have made says something about how far I have come.