I have written a couple of blogs about how hard it is to work on the headstone for Nick, Ru and Audrey. Bit I have to add to that again. I know this is a little boring, but it's my blog. I have to say that I didn't realize until this weekend how healing it is for me to think about what I would like on it and give input. I took my laptop to Vernal and showed Grandma our ideas. Of course, we both shed a few tears looking at the ideas. I talked to Mary last night and told her that I think I have done more healing in the last couple of weeks than I have in the last year. I'm not sure healing is the right word though. Perhaps acceptance should be in there as well. It hurts to think about them being gone. But it will always hurt. And I know that there will be times when the pain and grief will be as deep as it was the day they died. But I also know that there are getting to be times when I want and need to talk about then and their life and the way they lived. Maybe there are times when I need to talk about the way they died. That will change from day to day.
But, Mary, I want to say thank you for letting me a part of this process. When you realized how hard it was for me, you could have just went ahead and made the decisions. But it was important to you for me to do this and for you to know what I wanted. Thank you so much!
