Happy Anniversary, Howard. Today would have been 31 years together married. Wow, I can't believe that. It doesn't seem that long ago since we eloped. I would love to sit home and look at our wedding pictures, but I don't have a clue where they are. I do have one on the computer, so I'll open it and remember how handsome you were. I fell in love with you that very first day I met you. You had the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen. We had a roller coaster marriage, but I only remember the good times now. Guess that is one of the advantages of you being gone. It makes my memories only seen through rose colored glasses.
I often wonder what we would be doing today if you were still here. I have met so many people our age who are divorced. Sometimes I wonder if we would still be together. I like to believe we would be, that somehow we would have made it through the rough spots and hung onto the love. You would have been such a great grandpa. I remember after the shock wore off of Angela being pregnant you kept saying you were too old to be sleeping with a grandma. But I know that would have changed the second you saw Tony. Of course, I know that you kissed him goodbye from heaven and sent him here to us. I believe you did that with all the other grandchildren too when it was their turn.
Do you know that I have been very jealous of the fact that Nick is there and got to see you again before me? That was NOT fair. But I also know that he had misssed you so much, and you were so glad to see him again. I know it was a glorious reunion.
Do you look down at me and roll your eyes? Do you ever look down and think how far I have come and how much I have grown? I know being without you has made me a stronger woman. I have had to learn how to do more by myself. That has taken me a long time though. It was easy to want or let others do it for me from our kids to other men. But I'm learning and getting better at standing on my own two feet. Watch over me, be proud of me and if you can, send a little help my way. I love you so much. Someday.............
I often wonder what we would be doing today if you were still here. I have met so many people our age who are divorced. Sometimes I wonder if we would still be together. I like to believe we would be, that somehow we would have made it through the rough spots and hung onto the love. You would have been such a great grandpa. I remember after the shock wore off of Angela being pregnant you kept saying you were too old to be sleeping with a grandma. But I know that would have changed the second you saw Tony. Of course, I know that you kissed him goodbye from heaven and sent him here to us. I believe you did that with all the other grandchildren too when it was their turn.
Do you know that I have been very jealous of the fact that Nick is there and got to see you again before me? That was NOT fair. But I also know that he had misssed you so much, and you were so glad to see him again. I know it was a glorious reunion.
Do you look down at me and roll your eyes? Do you ever look down and think how far I have come and how much I have grown? I know being without you has made me a stronger woman. I have had to learn how to do more by myself. That has taken me a long time though. It was easy to want or let others do it for me from our kids to other men. But I'm learning and getting better at standing on my own two feet. Watch over me, be proud of me and if you can, send a little help my way. I love you so much. Someday.............
3 comments:
what happened to the other one?
It enables us to express our feelings and opinions.
As beautiful as you were then, I really think you're much more beautiful now.
I'm hoping the memories of your dear Howard will bring you more comfort than pain.
Ang
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