The weekend before the results were due I started to fall apart. I read everything online I could find on breast cancer. Sometimes the internet is a good thing. I overloaded my brain and started thinking of all the things I would have to deal with if the lump was malignant.
Years ago I told Howard that if I ever got breast cancer I would die before I would have a mastectomy. Why is it that women's self esteem seems to be tied to her chest from the time she starts developing? I spent the whole weekend slowly falling apart. So when the doctors office called on Tuesday, I assumed it was to remind me of my appointment on Wednesday. They had told me they wouldn't give results over the phone. That way if I had to come in, I would just assume it was bad. I missed the call and when I called back they were at lunch. It was a pretty tense hour until I could get ahold of someone who knew anything. But then I was told 'we have your results and they are benign!' I actually keep from crying at work. I immediately txted Ang and Lala the results. I didn't tell anybody at work cuz I wanted to tell the rest of my family after work.
I went to the appointment on Wednesday and got more information on the results. I was told I need to have a mammo every year without fail. I have a high risk for more lumps and a slightly higher risk for it to someday be malignant. Will I keep getting the yearly mammo? You bet. Will I choose to have other lumps removed? Yeah, I think I will. I don't know what my decision would have been if this was malignant. I kept saying I would figure that out when I got the results. But I do know that I have so much life left to live and so much to do!
So here's to the rest of my life!!!
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